What wedding costs, types ought to be –Respondents
By Deji Abdulwahab
Some Nigerians have expressed different opinions about whether or not western values are affecting weddings in the country in terms of cost and the types of weddings.
While some of them note that a successful economy size wedding could cost between N500, 000 and N3 million, others note that many Nigerians could prefer low-key events to avoid extravagant spending.
Also, some observe that wedding ceremonies and the amount of money involved have been influenced by foreign wedding cultures.
Analysts note that the few rich in Nigeria can spend as much as N100 million, throwing costly wedding parties, while the poor can opt for mass weddings.
Supporting extravagant spending at weddings, a parent, Mrs Lydia Crown, insists that there is no amount of money spent on wedding that could be said to be too much.
She says: “This is because wedding is once in a lifetime; you would not celebrate the day you are born and when you die; so it is only wedding that you witness’’.
Some parents however believe that intending couples are knowledgeable enough to decide the types of weddings they want, depending on the status of the family and wealth.
But Mr Shaliu Ibrahim, a retired civil servant, says, “I prefer to pay for the couple to go a vacation in the U.S., buy them a car and house or something that is tangible.
“This is important to me than feeding more than 1,000 people in the name of wedding because to me it is a waste of money’’.
In her opinion, Mrs Christiana Odeh, a mother to three daughters and a son, says she wants an elaborate and extravagant wedding for her daughters, inviting as many as 1,000 people for the parties.
“If it is my daughter’s wedding, I will settle for a grand wedding ceremony that attracts traditional, church and reception engagements where more than 1,000 people will attend apart from my family and close friends.
“From my personal point of view, marriage requires a lot of money and time planning because I actually see wedding as capital intensive,’’ she notes.
However, Miss Nwaka Obinna believes in modest wedding, reasoning that there will be life after wedding which must be put into consideration.
According to her, spending a lot of money on a wedding does not guarantee lasting union or enhance love.
“It will rather attract jealousy, bitterness and envy; what I will not encourage is people putting themselves under pressure all in the name of marriage.
“In my own experience, at least, I think that happy marriage often comes with small and happy beginning,’’ she said.
A counselor, Mr Godwin Ekwueme, also prefers simple and non-expensive marriage as a choice for his daughters.
Ekwueme observes that western values and culture may have impacts on some wedding plans which, in most cases, involve expensive engagements.
Mrs Ella Amogu, a civil servant, notes she will approve of modest marriage because of its sustainability in the long run and would give a better understanding of reality in all its ramifications.
According to her, western values or cultures have come a long way with interfering with our values as people.
“Western values have made us to appear myopic and dysfunctional, making our core values as slavery.
“One example, education in western values or culture has so far presented both sides of the coin as the good and the bad.
“Most marriages in Africa, especially those that have suffered are the most marriages of the well-read and mostly exposed, like the celebrities,” she said.
Mr Alexendar Anayo, a resident of Abuja, says that marriage is not supposed to be expensive but some people make it to look so.
According to him, extravagant or modest marriage ceremony is a thing of choice, which depends on individual capability and tradition put in place.
Anayo notes that most traditions allow lesser dowry and other requirements but some persons may desire to go outside the tradition.
Mr Caleb Justice, Business Management Consultant, therefore, urges parents to counsel their children on the purpose of marriage.
He describes the couples as adult and parents should allow them to decide the type of marriage they want.(NAN)